This project is particularly personal to me. It represents an event and time in my younger life that I found very difficult, and that was resurfacing for many years. The work and writings of Jo Spence, and her use of Phototherapy inspired me, ‘Psychoanalysis has theorized that unless we can consciously represent something to ourselves we are unable to speak about it and thereby change it’ and this is what I started to experiment with doing. It was through this project I was able to challenge this time, and come to terms with it.
Through burning, scratching, and stabbing, I was able to let my emotions run loose, to remove and re edit, to take control of something I did not have the strength to do before. I felt more able to take control, and begin to let go.
However after the destructive moment had passed, I was left with the crude remains, and a feeling of exhaustion – but with that, a sense of relief.
The images are a reminder that no matter how hard I tried, the scars of these memories would always remain in my mind, as they will in these photographs, however now, they are mine to control.
EXCLUSIVE ARTWORK BY INDIA LAWTON